by Amy M.
Happy New Year, one and all!
I have two resolutions for 2013: One is to faithfully blog, and the other is to figure out motherhood. Since these resolutions can be conveniently combined, you are welcome to follow as I share details of life in our corner of the world!
Five months ago, Jimmy and I moved to Corpus Christi and are thus farther away from many of our closest friends and family members. This blog will be a place where our loved ones can keep posted on our little family through updates and pictures. It’s not that we lead extraordinarily exciting lives, but we do have a baby on the way!
Which brings me to the next point:
I’m ready. I think. By the end of this month, we’ll have a baby.
I’m extremely excited. I can’t focus on anything else; my attention span is very limited lately. Do you remember how you felt as a child on Christmas Eve, trying to sleep while waiting for Santa? I feel like that 24 hours a day. But the whole idea of motherhood still feels mystifying and unreal! Unlike many new moms, I’ve never had intense baby fever or felt entirely comfortable holding newborns. I love kids, but I’ve always felt more at ease around pre-teens and teenagers, which is why I chose to teach high school. I don’t even have much babysitting experience! Everyone says, “Oh, you’ll get the hang of it; everything will come naturally,” and I’m sure that’s true. Guess we’ll find out soon!
It seems that she is doing her best to ease my anxiety. She’s been incredibly calm in the womb, and she has blessed me with an uncomplicated pregnancy. I’ve had no morning sickness, no swelling (my wedding ring still fits!), and average weight gain (about 25 pounds so far). At each doctor’s appointment, she has a fantastic heartbeat and gives me no reason to worry about a thing. I can almost hear her saying, “It’s ok, Mommy–you got this!” Dare I hope that her birth will follow this gentle pattern?
I truly believe that nothing will adequately prepare me for her arrival, but I have scanned through a few books and websites. Some things I’ve found helpful (swaddling is the answer to everything), and other things I’ve found daunting and harsh (put her on a schedule immediately!). Some baby gurus are alarmingly political (breastfeeding), while others advocate things that seem utterly absurd to me (cloth diapers). No offense, expert mamas, but I plan to go with the flow and let the baby take the lead. After all–people have been doing this for a long time…success must be possible!
Every now and then when I start to feel especially anxious, the world offers me a small sign that everything will be ok. The other day at Barnes & Noble, I saw a young mom and her three-year-old daughter sitting on the floor reading a book together. Every now and then, they’d stop reading and sing a little song, then they’d go back to reading.
Yeah–I can’t wait to do that with Eliza:)